Layla's culture came back negative, so it's just some kind of an irritation that she's had. Ped said to keep using the diaper cream, cranberry juice, and baking soda soaks. Well guess, what? Layla hates the cream.
I was certain that it was just because she was still having some pain around her vulva and didn't like it applied, but now I know the truth.
The last thing that I want to do is traumatize my kid by forcibly touching (even if it is to apply medication) her vagina. So what to do, what to do, what to do?
Moms everywhere know that bartering and modeling are some of the most widely used and successful parenting techniques. Unfortunately, for me in this situation, that meant applying diaper cream to myself. Or my own bagina, as Layla was happy to yell at the top of her lungs. So there we sat, mother and daughter, butt naked from the waste down, spread eagle, and fully exposed.
She's too old to fake it, so I got a full dose, and was relieved to see that Layla was open to having me apply it to her. Together we stand up, dress, and walk out to the living room. And it was horrible. It was like when you forget to wipe the KY off and you're a mushy mess. Very, very gross.
Please little baby jesus, let me apply it tomorrow to her, without having to apply it to me first. Cause it's icky.
So when I hear a windy-squishing noise, I won't have to wonder what it is. I'll know you farted. Or something.
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