Friday, August 28, 2009

I'm dumb. Dumbditty, dumbditty, dumbditty, dumb.

Dumb ass. So, ah, idiot girl decides to take her 2.5 year old and 5.5 month old to their well child visits by herself.

See, right there, you all know how this is going to end. But you know I had to try and be all bad ass and shit.

I had to leave work early to get there on time. Got to Elba's and Layla had pissed herself, so I had to change her. Called to tell them that I would be about 5 minutes late and was told "well, just don't be any later than 10 minutes past your appointment". Bitch, if I could just snap my fingers and make the traffic go away, or grow my car some wings, then I could make that promise.

When I got there (7 minutes late, fuckyouverymuch) they gave me about 7,563 pages of questionnaires and medical/developmental forms to complete. As I prepare to sit down, Layla informs me that she has to go potty. So while juggling Evie and all our shit, we go into the bathroom to discover that she has pissed her pants again and is now out of dry pants. I did the ghetto mom and marched her out of the bathroom barefoot and in her underwear.

Met with first nurse. Not sure what her job was, other than to weigh the girls and prep me for the real nurse. She was nice and didn't yell at me for co-sleeping and delaying/selectively vaccinating. Real nurse preps me for the doc, whom I adore. Doc makes me happy and says everyone is great. And real nurse comes back. You know what that means.

Two of them for Evie, one in each leg. None for Layla, cause she's sick, and I REALLY don't do vaccines when they're sick. Evie released a wicked scream, but didn't cry and managed a little baby mean mug at the nurse. I guess she let the anal probe pass until the bitch stuck her again, this time with something sharp.

Well visits suck.

HOLY MOTHER OF GOD AND ALL THAT IS HOLY AND HOLEY. So just an FYI, do not google shots. How does a full picture of an anal cum shot make the first page?

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