Monday, November 23, 2009

RIP Potty Champion

A sad day is upon us. One of our own, an idol, one might say, has fallen. And with it, went the hopes, anguish, and ultimate mastery and domination of one little girl.

That's right. The Potty Champion Trophy is no more.
Now, now, dry your eyes. While the end of an era is in it of itself sad, the final act in which this trophy was cast in, was epic. And like it's life, it's demise will be written in the halls of Valhalla for eternity.

So settle in for the grand story of how my not quite white little norske nook laid this Ba'al to rest.

It all started....ERCHHHHHHHH...Fuck that.

If you've been paying attention, you know how the damn trophy came to be into our lives. So let's fast forward past the boring stories of trophy retrieval duty when Layla was heard crunching on it's fake metal from 20 yards, through the various hiding spots attempted in order to rid this house of it's foul existence, and straight to the good part. 'Cause every story needs a strong ending to make it worth telling.

So, that child, MY child, decided that the final act of this trophy's life would be an ironic one. So in the quiet stealth that can only be achieved by a kid up to no good, she snuck into the bathroom and peed on the trophy.

Countless books may be written about the subject. Some may speculate that this was done intentionally. Some may say it was by mistake since she also soaked her underwear and pants at the same time, but the fact remains that the Potty Champion Trophy was finally laid to rest while covered in Layla pee.

And I'm certain that she gets her aim from her dad, cause as hard as I try, I could NEVER nail a target that small.

So there you have it. The trophy was sent to a farm in the country where it could be forever free. And forever reign as potty supreme, taking with it my child's mastery of the potty.


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