I have no idea what I'm doing

Parenting is an impossible task.  I seriously find myself looking at Layla (Evie's time will come, but she's still little) and wondering how I can be so angry at her that I can't even stand to be in the same room with her.  How do more parents not kill their kids?  I can't be the only person who wonders how frequently my parents hated me.

My god this kid is testing the limits with such oppressive and suffocating vigor that I feel like a failure at nearly every choice that I make.  Redirect?  Fail.  Ignore?  Fail.  Spank?  Fail.  Be hurt and sad?  Fail.  I have done each and every one of these things countless times, and I have failed miserably with each and every tactic.

This summer is going to make or break us.  Either we come to some kind of an understanding with her being primarily home, with me, in our controlled environment, or we find out how quickly her life insurance policy can be cashed in.

I wish that I could tell you which outcome I was pulling for.