Going home

Well, kinda.

The girls and I have a trip scheduled this summer to go down to the states while Mike is working summer school.  I'm terrified of traveling alone with them, but I know that we'll be fine and the trip will be worth it. We will spend over a week with my folks in Wisconsin (along with my sister-friend Kerty and her husband, my brother, and their kid; along with my sister and her kids).  It will be the first time that we all have been together with our families.  Ever.  And then I'll spend some time in Chicago with my sister, Mike's folks, and meeting up with friends.

It's hard to not look forward to this trip with a nostalgic pull of years gone by.  I had an incredible childhood.  I wouldn't change the way that I was raised for a moment.  I had the most amazing role models in my life, freedom to damn near kill myself on a regular basis, and support network to make me feel safe when shit got bad. I had a kick ass childhood.  And it's time like this that I long for the same for the girls.

Layla loves to webcam with her grandparents.  But there is a part of me that is sad that she has an obscure idea of her grandma C and papa, and granny and granddad, and not a solid bank of memories with them to draw from.  Part of our life choices have led us to living 3,000 miles away from these significant figures in our kid's lives.  And there are times that I wish that the girls knew those relationships  more intimately than they do now.

Not enough to move back there, but enough to be sad that they will miss out on some wonderful moments and memories.