I broke my crotch today

My bike has been having some difficulty transitioning to certain gears lately.  It's been slowly coming on, and I had yet to really address it.  But today was the final straw.

As I was biking the girls home from the park we went to, my chain kept jumping all over the place and came off completely countless times.   Those of you that are familiar with riding while the chain is jumping, know the potential hazard.  While coming up a hill and downshifting, my bike didn't respond.  Instead of simply getting off and walking it up the hill, I stood up and started pedaling while standing.

Yeah.  A VERY stupid move.  The chain jumped, and I slammed down onto the bike seat.  If I had still been a virgin, that would have taken care of that little hurdle.  Fortunately I was able to bite back the enormous FUCK that I wanted to shout, but I still had almost 3 miles left to go.

It was not a pretty trip home, and the bike was taken directly back to the store it was purchased from.  Where I was promptly told that this is normal for gears to stretch on a new bike and that's why the offer a free tune up within the first 30 days of purchase.

Wait.

You KNEW this could happen, but you didn't include it in your sales pitch while you were trying to milk all the money that you could from me?  Granted, a broken crotch would have gone in the con side, but at least I could have prepared myself.  And planned ahead to address the fact that we still have a few more sperm to kill.

So I sit with Mike's vasectomy ice pack and sulk.  I was, however, able to take the girls up hiking in the mountains for a bit tonight while Mike played guitar out.