Wednesday, July 14, 2010

Stupid bike

My ass hurts.  And it's not like I have one of those itty bitty seats.  I went with a comfort series bike, and my ass STILL hurts.

I remember about 10 years or so ago, Mike and I got into "mountain biking".  It's in quotes because we never actually biked any mountains, the burliest that we ever got was some of the more difficult trails around town.  I think that we could have enjoyed it, but we both hate bears.  THEY say the worst thing you can do is to come up on a bear too quickly and/or have a dog with you.  At the time we had two dogs and we were weaving in and out of bear real estate.  It also happened to be the summer that greater than the norm became bear food.  None of that is relevant other than to point out that although the seat was smaller on the mountain bike, so was my ass.  And the way that you sit on a mountain bike is in a fairly aggressive forward leaning position.

On my luxury old lady bike though, you sit pretty erect.  Like, I think it forces me to have better posture than I do while not on the bike.  My muscles are planning a coup and I pay for my choice to be inactive and lazy for too long, more than I would have thought possible.  I'm going to also blame the fact that I'm pulling around 70 pounds behind me now, but that's just me trying to make it sound better in my own mind.

Anyway, since Evie spends much of her time on the rides screaming and trying to keep her helmet propped up enough so that she can see with one hand, and eating her snacks with the other.  And Layla likes to yell at me to get my attention until I stop so that I can hear her, only to be asked a stupid and irrelevant question, I have found that I need to occupy my mind in other ways to keep from unlatching the trailer and simply riding away without them.  To my dismay, the way that I seem to keep my mind distracted is by humming the music that plays when the nasty old lady comes to take Toto away from Dorothy and she rides away on her bike.  The only connection to that scene is the fact that she is sitting like she has a stick up her ass.  Just like me.

And so I hum.

No comments:

Post a Comment