Hey diddle diddle, Layla found her fiddle.

Mike just walked in on Layla playing with herself in the bathroom.  She told him "I'm just using myself".  He took that opportunity to inform her that she doesn't wipe without toilet paper (she was sitting on the toilet) and promptly left to tell me.

Great, I get the masturbation talk.  So we kept it short and sweet.

Mike's ability to completely and totally ignore that this actually happened is impressive.  I really think in a matter of 3 minutes he had talked himself into believing that it never actually happened.