Hormonal explosion

There is a very good possibility that I will self destruct in the very near future.  My body is in limbo and is going to be very confused in about 5 minutes.

Evie is on her fourth full day of not nursing.  She simply hasn't asked.  It's funny because I remember the last time she nursed because I've felt it nearing the end and have tried to sear the memory into my brain.  And with a perfect and fitting end, her last moment at the breast brought on the near instant drowsiness that it has so very many times in the past.  And we looked at each other, she rubbed my hair, unlatched, and smacked me on the boob.  And that was it.  4 days.  My hormones are a little wonky.  Not too bad, since we had been decreasing so slowly for so long, but still a bit "off".  I had a little pang of sadness as I put the boob pillow thing away, but just a pang.

If this doesn't push me over the edge, I also had my IUD ripped out of me today.  And it hurt like a bitch.  Seriously, why the fuck does that crap have to hurt so much.  And why can't they offer nitrous like my good dentist?  I may have to start lobbying for midwives to be given that option.  But it's out.  It's done.  And for the first time in nearly 17 years, I am off birth control and NOT trying to conceive or pregnant.  Basically my body is going to have to jump start something that it hasn't had to regulate for itself for just shy of half of my life.  I will be floored if this doesn't end in at least 1 hissy fit and 1 meltdown in public. Please don't let either happen this week while I work registration and have to try and be professional.