Monday, September 13, 2010

1 BILLION times

It's taken 36 years of existence and 3.5 years of parenting to realize one simple fact.  One painfully obvious thing that cognitively I knew, but up until tonight while on a bike ride with the girls, was unable to articulate.

Never do or say ANYTHING to your kid that you aren't prepared to do or say a billion times.  Or at least be begged to do.  Over, and over, and over, and over, and over again.  A billion times.

Don't name our kid anything that you aren't comfortable saying a billion times.  At different volumes and intensities.  Emotions and enthusiasm.

Don't give any characters in a beloved book a silly voice that you aren't willing to do for the rest of your life.  A billion times.

Don't use use a ridiculous word for a body part or bodily function that you aren't willing to say a billion times, or hear screamed at the top of a tiny voice at the most inopportune times for endless years.  A billion, in fact.

Don't come up with a creative name for feeding your kid cake and ice cream for dinner on a lazy night and a whim.  Then not expect them to ask for it again, a billion times over.

And don't, for the love of all the gods and goddesses, reach up while on a bike ride, grab a leaf from a passing tree, and toss at back at your kids in while they sit patiently and quietly in the bike trailer.  Because, guess what?  You'll be asked to do it again and again.  At least 25 times over 10 miles.  And a billion times over a lifetime, I'm sure.


  1. and...know for the billionith time you will have to remind your kid not to lean up against a dirty/salty car while wearing their clean winter jacket.

  2. That's why I don't even wear winter jackets anymore, mom. You traumatized me.