Tuesday, October 27, 2009


What is 'the first moment I got to sit down and have some time to myself all day' Alex.


And even that was done with a little whinny voice calling over and over "I need a kiss, mama. I need a kiss, mama. I need a KISS, mama. I NEED a kiss, mama". So. Very. Annoying.

It's difficult to not get overwhelmed by just thinking about all the shit that I have to do in a day. There are mornings that I wake up and run through the list of things I will need to do, the same list for the most part that I've done day in and day out for what feels like forever, and the mere thought of it all exhausts me.

But like moms everywhere, I take a deep breath (Xanax), close my eyes (3 shots of whiskey), and count to ten (a dime bag of weed). And all is right with the world, and I'm ready to do it all again.

Just don't add another thing to my plate, cause you may push me over the edge.

Which reminds me of a story from my college days. I was waiting tables at Chi Chi's, and one night I had a very annoying customer. He was one of those older middle aged men who doesn't even realize that he is doing THE most annoying things at every turn. Finally, after the millionth time he called me Missy, grabbed my elbow, and added his very nasty and very heavy Chi Chi plate to my already overloaded tray, I snapped. I looked him straight in the eye and dumped my tray all over the table. And then walked away. Yeah, I didn't make such a hot waitress.

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