Tuesday, December 1, 2009

Smuggling Christmas


A difficult holiday for a family that is not, what one would call, Christian.

Layla's big gift has been purchased. She's getting a big ass wooden kitchen play thing that comes equipped with what every little GIRL needs, a washer and dryer. And well the feminist within shudders with horror at the thought of grooming my kid to cook and clean, the lazy, don't wanna play with her ass all the time side of me longs for something that will occupy her time for countless hours. So a ridiculous kitchen it is. I'm not sure if it adds to the horror of it all that Mike actually did the purchasing of said gift. If he were to throw in a couple of pom poms, I may have to punch him in the throat.

The kitchen has been successfully been smuggled into the house (pre-assembled because Mike knew better than to get one that either of us would have to put together) while I was bathing the little turd monkies. And we hope that it stays hidden in our closet until the big reveal.

The big reveal. Christmas. We've had the santa discussion. I KNOW that the wonderful, albeit very Christian Colombian woman who loves her for 8 hours a day has had the baby jesus talk with her. I know this because Layla is certain that someone is going to pop out of the star on top of the Christmas tree and get a birthday cake on Christmas. So, how to reconcile the big jolly guy who brings her stuff with the lessons being taught from Elba who proudly displays a picture of the new pope at her front door, strategically placed just above the bible left open to a favorite page?

No, really. How do you? I'm asking, cause I have no fucking clue. I've tried having the philosophical discussion of the stealing of Roman, pagan, and otherwise existing celebrations to help Christianity get the leg up, but it seems a bit over her head.

Either that, or she loves the big G-diddy and his only son J-Dog. Well, at least I can blame them for the stereotypical gifts designed to gender type my little, non hooping, girly screaming little girl. Whatever. She may just have to be the first girly girl that I actually like.


  1. I expect a picture of the 'death to feminism' toy.
    As to the Christmas issue, when you figure it out, let me know. Because I don't have a clue either. We have discussed how just as people look differently, they also believe in different things. Some people beleive in jesus and some believe in Buddha. As long as you choose to do what you know in your heart is the right thing to do, then you'll be just fine. But Christmas is tricky.