Your mama

I've been feeling a bit nostalgic lately, as well as sad since the passing of my godfather.  It is so fitting to me that my godfather was a hard living, heavy drinking, chain smoking, foul mouthed, truck driver.  Seriously, how fucking cool is that? I love that when I reflect on my memories and what I know of Terry, I honestly have no idea if the man was Christian or not.  And don't, for a second, think that I'm not blaming his ass when I'm face to face with the big J diddy and he asks how I think I'm deserving of 21 virgins and I don't have a good answer.  My spiritual guide was a kick ass man.  My parents rocked enough to move him into a position of significance in my life.  And while he would have laughed in my face if I ever asked where in the bible I could look to find guidance on a certain topic, he made a positive impact on my life, none the less.

Layla has some goddess parents.  My brother and my sister-friend.  I'm pretty sure that I even followed protocol and asked them prior to appointing them.  Not so sure that I did the same after subsequent kid was born, but they won't be shocked to know that they are also the chosen ones for Evie B.  So, what does that mean?  Essentially, some extra tax deductions and life insurance collection if Mike and I get offed.  Because while one is a heathen pagan and the other is, well, I have no idea, they are most closely aligned with our beliefs that I know they would mess my kid up, as only a biological parent can.

And so the cycle continues.

I gotta stop doing these posts after having consumed wine.

I want my kids to know me.  To know ME, flaws, faults, fuck ups and all.  So we surround them with people who won't bullshit them.  And if they never have to experience the loss of me to learn the truth, may they one day read my thoughts in this journal of sorts, and find comfort in my panicked neck grabbing of a drowning person.  And honesty.  May you see your mama's honesty and see it for what it is.  My trust that you can handle it and will appreciate the humor in it.  And know that I love you with a ferocity that scares me.