Monday, April 12, 2010

And then her heart broke

I watched it happen.  I watched the moment where Layla couldn't hold it together anymore and her little heart broke.  And it gutted me.

Firstly, her UTI is back in full force.  So she is not feeling well and in pain, with an even smaller threshold to handle frustration.  Due to said infection's phoenix rising, she pissed the bed twice last night.  I'm certain that her bedding is destroyed because it now has bright orange stains from the meds that she's taking.  Her pediatrician wants to see her today and it looks like we'll be doing some more antibiotics until she can get into the urologist to figure out what's going on.  Great, more antibiotics.  Hopefully it will help with the pain though.  This poor kid has been through hell.

So we had a tough night.  Between her getting up every few hours soaking wet and Evie doing several wakings because of her teething and not feeling well, the girls were very tired this morning.  Again, this adds to the low threshold for handling frustration.

Daycare drop off.  I brought the girls up to the door and one of the kids opened it.  And both he, and his little brother inadvertently bumped Layla out of the way and over to the side twice in their enthusiasm to get to Evie.  Elba greeted her first with a big hug and kiss, but when Evie went to Elba and both boys had yet to acknowledge her, her bottom lip came out.  I knew that she was going to cry.  And I knew how hard she was trying to NOT cry.  Which made it even harder for me to watch.  I scooped her up and just held her limp little defeated body to my heart.  Stay strong, child.  Kids will do and say hurtful things to you more times than I'd like to admit.  In this case, these are nice boys who like to play with Layla usually, they just fall over themselves to get to Evie first.  It's not intentional.  But it doesn't make it any less painful to watch.  Especially when my child's heart lay broken in a million pieces at my feet.

And I leave her there, hurting, as I go to work.  Summer may come just in time for us.  I think she needs some time to regroup and do play dates and not daycare for a while. 

1 comment:

  1. Oh Layla, Grandma C's heart is broken for you too. I hope the doctor can get to the bottom of you UTI problem. Please drink lots of water. Have they suggested cranberry juice? I know that it is good for these types of problems. I am sorry that you are so sad each morning at day care drop off. I wish that I could live near you so that we could see each other more often. And Evie, you will have lots of new teeth to show off to us when you visit WI in June. Mom and Dad, hang in there. I love you all. Peace, Grandma C