Friday, April 9, 2010

I wonder if Mary beat Jesus

I'm going to go ahead and roll with the idea that all great prophets were bore of parents willing to throw down on them as necessary.  Right?  So if I spank my kid, I'm simply following in the footsteps of all the great mothers.  Jesus's, Ghandi's, Muhammid's, Mosses's, Meher Babah's, right?

I'm thinking of implementing the shock and awe approach to parenting.  If I manage to beat Layla at random times, causing her to cower in fear at the slightest loud noise or quick move from me, I may find that my mission is complete.  It may be the ultimate power and control tactic for me to be able to get my kid to curl into a fetal position by making a random, but stealth move in her direction.

You know that Jesus was bad.  And that Mary lit his ass up as necessary.  So therefor I am simply following in the footsteps of the great that came before me.

"Jesus, stop washing your sister's feet!"

'Muhammad, stop telling me that I can't come to your house to play with your spiderman shit.'

And so on, and so forth.  Next time that a great book is written, may it please include the self sacrifice and torment that this mama had to endure to bring her child to greathood. Or acceptable human equivalent.  Cause for realz, at this point, I'll settle for that.

No comments:

Post a Comment